You Can Have a Virtual Collaborative Divorce

While during this time of limited social contact, many have concluded that divorce is simply out of the question, others are moving forward in a virtual divorce. Collaborative divorce is a process where specially trained attorneys, a coach facilitator, and a financial professional work together, cooperatively, with clients to help them settle disputes and come to agreement. This more peaceful process (vs. divorce litigation) can be accomplished virtually when in-person meetings are not possible. While working virtually does take planning and some getting used to, there are many benefits to clients in doing so. Some of these include:

-Not having to wait until in-person meetings are possible again to move forward in your divorce process

-You do not ever have to be in your spouse’s physical presence while meeting, which is a big plus for many who find sitting with a soon-to-be-ex to be stressful

-Savings on travel time for the professionals, who no longer have to move beyond their own work spaces to attend a team meeting

-More flexibility in meeting times

-Increased opportunities for taking breaks during challenging divorce discussions and for conferring with a professional (your attorney, the coach, or a financial expert) as needed via ‘breakout rooms’

-And more

If you would like to learn more about whether or not virtual collaborative divorce is the right process for you, feel free to contact me

‘E-Therapy’: Psychological Band Aid, Effective Healing, or Both?

These are uncertain and stressful times and for those who like to feel ‘in charge’ of themselves and their life’s direction, it can be even more challenging. Help and support are available, but, like everything else these days, assistance comes primarily virtually. And, beginning or shifting to virtual or ‘E-Therapy’ can pose challenges to us as we juggle our work and our children’s schedules, struggle to find quiet and privacy (many sessions are conducted in cars), and contend with the ebb and flow of our own energy levels (it takes a lot of energy just to move through the day, no less accomplish anything).

What can we expect then to achieve in E-Therapy at this time? As reported by a number of my patients, many are viewing their sessions as a lifeline connecting them back to their sense of themselves through this time of uncertainty and constant change as well as providing an emotional resting place or ‘time-out’, amidst the chaos. Others talk of gaining deeper insights to previously unknown strengths and aspects of themselves as well as a re-prioritizing of important values such as connection, kindness, and community. Others still are focusing primarily on problem solving the new challenges that 24/7 life at home in a pandemic has brought to them and to their families.

Whatever your need, a psychological band aid to get you through the rough spots or deeper exploration to move you toward potential healing, talk therapy on the telephone or via video chat can help. Whatever your circumstances, life at home these days seems to offer an abundance of free time, so, what better time is there to consider giving talk therapy a try?

To learn more or to set up an initial consultation, feel free to email me at info@betsyrosscoaching.com

To Your Health,

Betsy Ross, LICSW, CGP

coparents

Co-Parenting Questions: What is a good parenting plan for my family and me?

From: LM, in Norfolk County

Excellent question, LM!

An effective parenting plan is created just for you and your family and is not a one size fits all (or ‘template’) plan. Crafting your plan (like making a scrumptious meal from scratch) will take some time and skill. Working with the right professional, who can truly LISTEN and LEARN about you and your family, ask the right questions to develop an understanding of how you have done things in the past (and even present you with good ideas on what might work for the future) is essential. The plan with the best fit for your family will be based on:

-Your particular children’s ages, personalities, temperament, and coping skills

-Yours (and your Ex’s) own personalities, relationship skills, and how communication abilities

-Your past marital/couple relationship style and your co-parenting relationship goals

Keep in mind that all of the above change over time, too, so your parenting plan should regularly be reviewed and updated to better suit the needs of your ever growing/changing children and family. The best Parenting Plan is one that is customized to fit the needs of your particular children, of your particular co-parenting relationship (accounting for each of your communication and decision making styles) and for your family’s work/school/activity schedule.

Talking With Your Children About Divorce

If only there were a fool-proof formula that parents could follow and feel reassured that they were saying the right thing, the right way, and at the right time when it comes to telling the children about your separation or divorce. Unfortunately, there is not because every situation is different and every family (in terms of communication styles, personalities, history, etc.) is different, too. But, luckily, there are some guidelines to follow that will surely help. These include:

Read more

Should Unhappy Parents Stay Together?

Many of the unhappily married parents I speak with talk about staying married for the sake of their children. “We’ll wait until the kids leave for college, so they can grow up in a home with a mom and a dad” is an all too common refrain. The problem with this logic, though well-intended, is that it doesn’t consider the negative impacts on children of growing up in a home with parents who are not true partners, who don’t love or even like each other, who fight or ignore each other, or worse. Read more

A Divorce Coach Can Save You.

You may have heard about divorce coaching, but did you know that a skillful divorce coach can save you and your family: time, money, and aggravation? Here’s how:

A Divorce Coach Can Help You Know What You Need. Many divorcing clients have difficulty sorting through the options and possibilities to pinpoint what is most important. It’s easy to get off track or feel overwhelmed Read more