coparents

Co-Parenting Questions: What is a good parenting plan for my family and me?

From: LM, in Norfolk County

Excellent question, LM!

An effective parenting plan is created just for you and your family and is not a one size fits all (or ‘template’) plan. Crafting your plan (like making a scrumptious meal from scratch) will take some time and skill. Working with the right professional, who can truly LISTEN and LEARN about you and your family, ask the right questions to develop an understanding of how you have done things in the past (and even present you with good ideas on what might work for the future) is essential. The plan with the best fit for your family will be based on:

-Your particular children’s ages, personalities, temperament, and coping skills

-Yours (and your Ex’s) own personalities, relationship skills, and how communication abilities

-Your past marital/couple relationship style and your co-parenting relationship goals

Keep in mind that all of the above change over time, too, so your parenting plan should regularly be reviewed and updated to better suit the needs of your ever growing/changing children and family. The best Parenting Plan is one that is customized to fit the needs of your particular children, of your particular co-parenting relationship (accounting for each of your communication and decision making styles) and for your family’s work/school/activity schedule.

Talking With Your Children About Divorce

If only there were a fool-proof formula that parents could follow and feel reassured that they were saying the right thing, the right way, and at the right time when it comes to telling the children about your separation or divorce. Unfortunately, there is not because every situation is different and every family (in terms of communication styles, personalities, history, etc.) is different, too. But, luckily, there are some guidelines to follow that will surely help. These include:

Read more

Should Unhappy Parents Stay Together?

Many of the unhappily married parents I speak with talk about staying married for the sake of their children. “We’ll wait until the kids leave for college, so they can grow up in a home with a mom and a dad” is an all too common refrain. The problem with this logic, though well-intended, is that it doesn’t consider the negative impacts on children of growing up in a home with parents who are not true partners, who don’t love or even like each other, who fight or ignore each other, or worse. Read more