coparents

Co-Parenting Questions: What is a good parenting plan for my family and me?

From: LM, in Norfolk County

Excellent question, LM!

An effective parenting plan is created just for you and your family and is not a one size fits all (or ‘template’) plan. Crafting your plan (like making a scrumptious meal from scratch) will take some time and skill. Working with the right professional, who can truly LISTEN and LEARN about you and your family, ask the right questions to develop an understanding of how you have done things in the past (and even present you with good ideas on what might work for the future) is essential. The plan with the best fit for your family will be based on:

-Your particular children’s ages, personalities, temperament, and coping skills

-Yours (and your Ex’s) own personalities, relationship skills, and how communication abilities

-Your past marital/couple relationship style and your co-parenting relationship goals

Keep in mind that all of the above change over time, too, so your parenting plan should regularly be reviewed and updated to better suit the needs of your ever growing/changing children and family. The best Parenting Plan is one that is customized to fit the needs of your particular children, of your particular co-parenting relationship (accounting for each of your communication and decision making styles) and for your family’s work/school/activity schedule.

Should Unhappy Parents Stay Together?

Many of the unhappily married parents I speak with talk about staying married for the sake of their children. “We’ll wait until the kids leave for college, so they can grow up in a home with a mom and a dad” is an all too common refrain. The problem with this logic, though well-intended, is that it doesn’t consider the negative impacts on children of growing up in a home with parents who are not true partners, who don’t love or even like each other, who fight or ignore each other, or worse. Read more

A Divorce Coach Can Save You.

You may have heard about divorce coaching, but did you know that a skillful divorce coach can save you and your family: time, money, and aggravation? Here’s how:

A Divorce Coach Can Help You Know What You Need. Many divorcing clients have difficulty sorting through the options and possibilities to pinpoint what is most important. It’s easy to get off track or feel overwhelmed Read more

How to Pick the Right Divorce Professional

What’s the best way to end your marriage? 

Well, you could send a subscription of Divorce Magazine to your spouse, or you could scatter the business cards of several divorce attorneys, like rose petals, across your bed, or you could paint a yellow line down the middle of every room in your house and label each side “Yours” or “Mine”. A better way to end your marital relationship, however, is to begin a new relationship… no, not with a new partner, but with a Divorce Coach, a Mediator/Co-Mediators, or a Collaborative Attorney. Choosing the right Divorce Professionals takes skill and some luck and ranks way up there in importance, maybe as high as choosing the right mate, don’t you think?

The right Divorce Professionals can assist you Read more

Which Friends Can You Trust During A Divorce?

When it comes to knowing who you can trust and who you can’t, figuring out which friends are true friends is never easy, especially in the case of divorce. As you and your spouse are beginning to untangle your lives, even your best friend can become suspect, particularly if their spouse and your spouse are or have been close friends. Who will remain loyal to you and can be entrusted with your confidence and who might not are questions every divorcing individual must face. How do we find the answers? Here are five simple questions to ask when addressing the ‘Which friends are my true friends issue. Read more

If Divorce Is The Solution, What Is The Problem?

Your best chances at finding the right partner and creating a satisfying relationship going forward may depend on your answer to the ‘If divorce was the solution, what was the problem?’ question. Taking the time and energy to address this difficult divorce query now can greatly impact your future relationships and overall happiness. If your answer to this question was, MY SPOUSE, then undeniably, you are partially correct. However, if that is your only answer, then you are Read more