Why Blame Your Ex?

Why do so many divorcing and divorced women and men get stalled in the personal growth department by blaming the failure of their marriage entirely or mostly on their ex? When it comes to relationship failure, blaming the other is all too common. In the moment it can make us feel better or justified or even ‘off the hook’ for our own mistakes, but in the long run, playing the blame game interferes with our ability to have deep and more satisfying relationships and to grow.

Here are 5 reasons why we love to blame the ex and why it may not be so helpful after all! Read more

How to Pick the Right Divorce Professional

What’s the best way to end your marriage? 

Well, you could send a subscription of Divorce Magazine to your spouse, or you could scatter the business cards of several divorce attorneys, like rose petals, across your bed, or you could paint a yellow line down the middle of every room in your house and label each side “Yours” or “Mine”. A better way to end your marital relationship, however, is to begin a new relationship… no, not with a new partner, but with a Divorce Coach, a Mediator/Co-Mediators, or a Collaborative Attorney. Choosing the right Divorce Professionals takes skill and some luck and ranks way up there in importance, maybe as high as choosing the right mate, don’t you think?

The right Divorce Professionals can assist you Read more

Making The Emotional Shift From SPOUSE to CO-PARENT: Part 2

In Part 1 of this 2 part series, we examined the role feelings play as parents move through the ending of the marriage/divorce process and then beyond  into a co-parenting relationship. In this article, we will explore how to effectively make the emotional shift from spouse to ex-spouse to cooperative co-parent, in two big steps. In Step 1,  you will Read more

Making The Emotional Shift From SPOUSE To CO-PARENT: Part 1

What does it take to transition emotionally from spouses to ‘exes’ to co-parents? How can you engage peacefully in the business of raising healthy children with someone you used to be married to with all of that history between you? Rolling back your relationship to a more formal, business-like arrangement might seem impossible, but while it can be a challenging and difficult process,  it is do-able. It’s also much better for your children.

While there is no perfect “How To” on this, there are some guidelines that can help you Read more

If Divorce Is The Solution, What Is The Problem?

Your best chances at finding the right partner and creating a satisfying relationship going forward may depend on your answer to the ‘If divorce was the solution, what was the problem?’ question. Taking the time and energy to address this difficult divorce query now can greatly impact your future relationships and overall happiness. If your answer to this question was, MY SPOUSE, then undeniably, you are partially correct. However, if that is your only answer, then you are Read more

Why Does Divorce Seem To Take So Long?

Many people undergoing divorce feel as if time is just standing still and they aren’t getting anywhere…but they are. Even those who are in the midst of the divorce process and faced with some very big decisions (such as: will it be possible to stay in the family home, should the move out happen before or during the kids’ school year, how will we divide our belongings, etc.) might feel that nothing is happening. Why is this? There are many reasons why time seems to Read more

When Do You Go From “Divorced” To “Single”?

Recently, I used Google to pose this question, “When does the transition from ‘divorced’ to ‘single’ happen?” The answers I found were very interesting. Some message boards listed answers like: “As soon as the ink on your divorce agreement is dried”, or “Whenever you feel single, you are, even if you’re still married!”. Read more