Heaping all or most of the blame for your failed marriage onto your ex-spouse is tempting and quite common, but it really doesn’t help. In fact, it can hurt you in the long run (more on this in my next post!) Read more
In Part 1 of this 2 part series, we examined the role feelings play as parents move through the ending of the marriage/divorce process and then beyond into a co-parenting relationship. In this article, we will explore how to effectively make the emotional shift from spouse to ex-spouse to cooperative co-parent, in two big steps. In Step 1, you will Read more
What does it take to transition emotionally from spouses to ‘exes’ to co-parents? How can you engage peacefully in the business of raising healthy children with someone you used to be married to with all of that history between you? Rolling back your relationship to a more formal, business-like arrangement might seem impossible, but while it can be a challenging and difficult process, it is do-able. It’s also much better for your children.
While there is no perfect “How To” on this, there are some guidelines that can help you Read more
When it comes to co-parenting your child or children after divorce, the temptation to try to make up for the past is always present as feelings such as guilt, disappointment, and frustration (on the part of a co-parent) can interfere with your ability to parent in the ‘here and now’. Read more
Recently, I used Google to pose this question, “When does the transition from ‘divorced’ to ‘single’ happen?” The answers I found were very interesting. Some message boards listed answers like: “As soon as the ink on your divorce agreement is dried”, or “Whenever you feel single, you are, even if you’re still married!”. Read more
Parents worry. Parents undergoing divorce may worry even more. They may worry that their children won’t adjust to their new life or the new town or the new living arrangements. They may worry that they won’t do well in school or sports or that they will struggle socially and won’t fit in. Worrying simply seems to go with the territory.
Many parents also worry that because the kids will be living with them most of the time, they will have to take on (or continue to shoulder) the lion’s share of the parenting responsibilities. Read more
What can you do if your adolescent daughter brings a troubling issue to you and you have absolutely no idea how to handle it? How can you learn the best way to teach your toddler not to do something? What if your kids just won’t stop fighting? Will you choose to have the final say to stop the squabbling or would helping your child to make their own choice be the best way to go? While you and your ex (or soon to be ex) are officially “co-parents “, you will nonetheless find yourself making many parenting decisions by yourself after the divorce. When it’s just you and the kids tonight, this weekend, or this week, issues will inevitably crop up and then it’s parenting showtime…what will you do? Read more
"Is divorce ever an easy process? Probably not. However, it was beneficial for me to have had an impartial, empathic, professional divorce coach on hand to guide the divorce process along, keep us focused on outcomes, and finally to reach our goals with harmony and clarity." Elaine from Norfolk County, MA