Divorce Coaching Over the Phone Works

More and more services and products are just a click or a phone call away, so why not divorce coaching, too? A Massachusetts divorce client whom I helped to successfully navigate through the divorce process and beyond recently decided to move to another state. When this newly divorced mother of three contacted me, I offered to help her find a professional divorce coach in her new home area to address the variety of issues this newly divorced family wanted to discuss. In this way, she could have assistance in working out the details of the new parenting situation, work with her ex to tweak the parenting plan to fit their new geographical boundaries, and address any difficulties that arose among family members, based on the move. Rather than find someone new, this client asked if she could continue working with me via telephone or Skype, since I already knew a lot about the family, their style, and their values. I decided to give it a try and the results have been excellent. We were able to ‘meet’ regularly for the first few months after the move and discuss all of the necessary details of setting up a healthy home environment, find support professionals/services in the area (i.e.- baby sitters, tutors, and social organizations) as well as figure out the most practical and helpful adjustments to the parenting plan so that the children’s father could continue to maximize his participation in family matters, even from afar. To date, the children, and their parents, feel they are adjusting well to their new life situation.

Long distance divorce coaching works not only for families that are moving away, but also for clients across the country who would like to use a particular coach to help them. A coach and clients can work via telephone to create a parenting plan that keeps the children’s needs and the family’s values right up front. This also works for couples considering divorce who would like assistance in understanding and choosing from among the variety of divorce process available these days.

For spouses who have a hard time getting out of the arguing and fighting mode, telephone divorce coaching can work well as soon-to-be-exes don’t have to be in the same room at the same time to work together. This can work well for divorcing couples who can’t see eye to eye on the important issues and are having difficulty coming to agreement as, via telephone conferencing, the coach can help clients ask for what they need and want, feel heard, and create options to meet their needs.

If you are considering, in the process of, or recovering from a divorce and you have heard about a professional divorce coach who worked well with a family you know, even if they are out of the area, consider working with them over the web or by phone. The right divorce coach, be they in front of you or on your ‘screen’, can help you to create the kind of divorce process and life after divorce that will work well for you and your family.

2 replies
  1. Joseph F. Dillon
    Joseph F. Dillon says:

    Betsy: You bring up a good point about leveraging technology to help those who aren’t in your geographical area but as a divorce mediator I’m still finding that people want to meet “face to face.” Even though they may not really want to be in the same room with each other, there is something about that human connection they find comforting. I guess as time goes by and technology evolves things may change, but for now it seems mediation is still “live and in person.”

    • Betsy Ross, LICSW, CGP
      Betsy Ross, LICSW, CGP says:

      Hi Joseph:
      Thanks for your comment. I agree: divorce mediation may be better suited to in-person work, particularly since there are often a lot of materials, financial forms, and statements that are reviewed, worked on, and serve as an important part of the conversation.
      From my experience, divorce coaching can be delivered successfully via telephone or Skype to create effective parenting plans, clarify questions and concerns about the divorce process, and to work toward coming to agreement on difficult or complicated issues.
      I agree that in person work has its advantages, but sometimes Skype or telephone work is appropriate too…these work particularly well for individuals who find face to face work too stimulating or difficult to sit through, or who have difficulty voicing their true thoughts and desires in the presence of their soon-to-be ex-spouse. Thanks, Betsy Ross


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