A client spoke with me recently about how exhausted she had been feeling. This took her quite by surprise as, after years and years of unhappiness and finally feeling able to move ahead with a divorce, she had hoped to feel better. She didn’t expect to feel so irritable, de-energized, and just plain tired out. “Why should I feel so lousy if I’ve finally gotten up the nerve to ask for what I want: A divorce, and the chance to move ahead toward a happier life?” Read more
Clearly, everyone who undergoes a divorce is entitled to his or her own custom-made, personally designed divorce experience. There is most definitely one out there that will fit the bill for everybody who wants one.
As a Coach, Mediator, and Psychotherapist I regularly meet very interesting people and hear some very interesting divorce ideas. I’ve learned about Read more
Parents worry. Parents undergoing divorce may worry even more. They may worry that their children won’t adjust to their new life or the new town or the new living arrangements. They may worry that they won’t do well in school or sports or that they will struggle socially and won’t fit in. Worrying simply seems to go with the territory.
Many parents also worry that because the kids will be living with them most of the time, they will have to take on (or continue to shoulder) the lion’s share of the parenting responsibilities. Read more
When you mention the word ‘divorce’ to a family member, friend, or colleague, most people will immediately share a divorce story, express their concerns, or give you specific instructions (i.e.-“Make sure you keep the ______”). Why does this happen? Well, divorce is a Read more
Micki McWade’s article, “10 Tips For A Sane Divorce: Five For You, Five For Me”, outlines the steps both the person asking for the divorce as well as the one it is happening to can take to feel more prepared. She makes the point that there are big differences between the emotional mindset of the initiator vs. the non-initiator of divorce. Read more
What can you do if your adolescent daughter brings a troubling issue to you and you have absolutely no idea how to handle it? How can you learn the best way to teach your toddler not to do something? What if your kids just won’t stop fighting? Will you choose to have the final say to stop the squabbling or would helping your child to make their own choice be the best way to go? While you and your ex (or soon to be ex) are officially “co-parents “, you will nonetheless find yourself making many parenting decisions by yourself after the divorce. When it’s just you and the kids tonight, this weekend, or this week, issues will inevitably crop up and then it’s parenting showtime…what will you do? Read more
Want to fight less with your spouse? Then don’t be yourself! It’s only natural for there to be disagreement from time to time between any two people in a relationship. How you work things out (or don’t) has a great impact on your day to day life and on your marriage overall. So, how do you and your spouse go about fighting or disagreeing?
Do you do what you have always done or are you thinking of trying something different? How you choose to fight or try to settle disagreements has an enormous impact on the quality of your day to day life together. Couples often fall into a repetitive pattern of behavior when conflict rears its ugly head. This pattern may be undetectable to the spouses who are enacting it, but a studied, objective eye can be helpful in spotting the types of thinking, feelings, and behaviors are getting repeated. Here are a few examples of the unhelpful patterns that couples can fall into when each person is just acting as they always act and being “themselves”: Read more
Only one divorce process can teach clients new skills that they can use to live a better and happier life after the divorce. These days there are a number of divorce processes to choose from when seeking a Massachusetts divorce but only one of these can offer clients a chance to learn new communication, decision making, and relationship skills.
- provides clients with opportunities to improve relationships. They can learn how to fight less and talk more, make better decisions, think about and work toward realistic personal and family goals, and explore what is most important for living more successfully right now and in the future.
The collaborative process
- encourages clients to grow and develop themselves and work productively through the divorce process with an eye toward living a better life.
Unfortunately, we don’t go to school to study how to have good relationships. Relationship skills, when it comes to work, family, and social relationships, develop differently depending on how and where you grew up. So, where did you get your information on how to get along with people?
If you were lucky enough to be born into a family where your parents got along well and treated each other with kindness, mutual understanding, and in a loving manner, then you may have learned similar skills for use in your intimate relationships. Similarly, if important people close to you were successful in their business relationships, you may have gleaned some useful information that you are now using to get along with and manage the people you work with. But what if you weren’t quite so lucky? Read more
Ever wonder if you are picking the right friends? Have you ever had that nagging feeling that your nearest and dearest might not be so devoted? Here is a reality test that you can use to learn more about who is and who isn’t truly in your corner.
Do the Dance
Relationships have a choreography to them, a natural rhythm and flow. As we get to know each other, I tell you a little something private about me (ie- I am afraid of heights or I find my mother-in-law to be difficult) and then you tell me a little something private about you. Then what happens? A good test of who to pursue for true friendship would be if the information I entrusted you with stays private, between us. If suddenly our mutual friend Sarah knows this info too, then I would understand that you find it too difficult to keep my private information confidential, or perhaps “private” is not in your vocabulary. In either case, this tells me more about what kind of a friendship I can have with you. Read more