Learn to Fight Less With Your Spouse

Want to fight less with your spouse? Then don’t be yourself! It’s only natural for there to be disagreement from time to time between any two people in a relationship. How you work things out (or don’t) has a great impact on your day to day life and on your marriage overall. So, how do you and your spouse go about fighting or disagreeing?

Do you do what you have always done or are you thinking of trying something different? How you choose to fight or try to settle disagreements has an enormous impact on the quality of your day to day life together. Couples often fall into a repetitive pattern of behavior when conflict rears its ugly head. This pattern may be undetectable to the spouses who are enacting it, but a studied, objective eye can be helpful in spotting the types of thinking, feelings, and behaviors are getting repeated. Here are a few examples of the unhelpful patterns that couples can fall into when each person is just acting as they always act and being “themselves”: Read more

A Better Divorce For A Happier Life

Only one divorce process can teach clients new skills that they can use to live a better and happier life after the divorce. These days there are a number of divorce processes to choose from when seeking a Massachusetts divorce but only one of these can offer clients a chance to learn new communication, decision making, and relationship skills.

Collaborative divorce

    provides clients with opportunities to improve relationships. They can learn how to fight less and talk more, make better decisions, think about and work toward realistic personal and family goals, and explore what is most important for living more successfully right now and in the future.

The collaborative process

    encourages clients to grow and develop themselves and work productively through the divorce process with an eye toward living a better life.

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Relationship Intelligence: Where Did You Learn How to Get Along With People?

Unfortunately, we don’t go to school to study how to have good relationships. Relationship skills, when it comes to work, family, and social relationships, develop differently depending on how and where you grew up. So, where did you get your information on how to get along with people?

If you were lucky enough to be born into a family where your parents got along well and treated each other with kindness, mutual understanding, and in a loving manner, then you may have learned similar skills for use in your intimate relationships. Similarly, if important people close to you were successful in their business relationships, you may have gleaned some useful information that you are now using  to get along with and manage the people you work with. But what if you weren’t quite so lucky? Read more

Relationship Intelligence: Reality Testing Your Friendships

Ever wonder if you are picking the right friends? Have you ever had that nagging feeling that your nearest and dearest might not be so devoted? Here is a reality test that you can use to learn more about who is and who isn’t truly in your corner.

Do the Dance

Relationships have a choreography to them, a natural rhythm and flow. As we get to know each other, I tell you a little something private about me (ie- I am afraid of heights or I find my mother-in-law to be difficult) and then you tell me a little something private about you. Then what happens? A good test of  who to pursue for true friendship would be if the information I entrusted you with stays private, between us. If suddenly our mutual friend Sarah knows this info too, then I would understand that you find it too difficult to keep my private information confidential, or perhaps “private” is not in your vocabulary. In either case, this tells me more about what kind of a friendship I can have with you. Read more

Should You Take A Failed Marriage Personally?

Not necessarily so says Laura Munson of the Huffington Post Divorce Blog. In her thought provoking new post at: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/laura-munson/choosing-your-emotions-in_b_845897.html she talks about the importance of looking beyond the words that your oh-so-unhappy-soon-to-be- ex might be saying about you, and quieting down your own internal negative chatter and not jumping to the conclusion that it really is all your fault. Read more