Tag Archive for: happier life after divorce

Navigating Your Journey From Married Parents to Divorced Co-parents

Like traveling to any foreign land, making the shift from married parents to divorced co-parents requires learning a new language, paying attention to local customs and rituals, and maintaining an openness and ability to withhold judgement (particularly around differences). When I was in my late teens and on my first flight to Europe, I listened to the couple in front of me incessantly complain and criticize everything the hard-working flight attendant served them. “What is this? Where are the scrambled eggs, toast, and bacon?” It seemed that nothing but familiar, hometown fare would do despite that fact that we were all on a flight to France and being served a delicious and typical French breakfast (Then why travel? I wondered…)

Divorce presents a series of steps or tasks parents must accomplish not unlike taking a trip to a new continent and to a very different culture. In order to maximize the journey, research, preparation, understanding and flexibility along the way are essential. Similarly, an attitude of open-mindedness, patience, and a willingness to tolerate a level of discomfort during the trip (think cramped airline seats, long lines, and navigating unfamiliar cuisines) are needed. Is this too much to ask for during what for many is the worst time of their lives?

One of many areas requiring new understanding, a change of habits, and an agreed upon plan is co-parent communication. For instance, if one of you served as your family’s ‘air traffic controller’ by coordinating activities, scheduling necessary transportation, managing meal planning, homework, and family routines within scheduling confines, etc., what happens now? How will plans for the kids be coordinated and communicated across two households? How does what was once the role of one parent transition to an ongoing collaborative effort between you?

Or, let’s consider a communication issue that appears even earlier in the trip: How will you talk with your children about your plan to divorce? Who will say what? Where, when, and how will this be communicated? How will a child or children’s questions be addressed and by whom? Again, having conversations around an agreed upon roadmap, an understanding and willingness to tolerate the unanticipated twists and turns along the way is needed.

Luckily, there are many experienced divorce ‘tour guides’ available to assist you in navigating the issues above (and the many others that will arise during your family’s version of this trip). Just as you might pick a service/individual to help you plan and execute your journey, you can interview, network, and research your way to finding the right person or persons to help you navigate to your new co-parent destination. I am wishing you both the best possible journey filled with many successes and good learning along the way.

Why Isn’t Divorce Mediation Number 1?

Why isn’t mediation the most popular of all divorce processes? Read my new article in the Huffington Post and learn 5 possible reasons why not:  Read more

The Power Of An Apology In Divorce

Even though your divorce may already be under way, a genuine and heartfelt apology for your part in the breakdown of your marriage can help! Read my newest article in the Huffington Post Divorce Blog on the power of apologies:  Read more

Which Friends Can You Trust During A Divorce?

When it comes to knowing who you can trust and who you can’t, figuring out which friends are true friends is never easy, especially in the case of divorce. As you and your spouse are beginning to untangle your lives, even your best friend can become suspect, particularly if their spouse and your spouse are or have been close friends. Who will remain loyal to you and can be entrusted with your confidence and who might not are questions every divorcing individual must face. How do we find the answers? Here are five simple questions to ask when addressing the ‘Which friends are my true friends issue. Read more

How Can I Be Happier?

It has been said that ‘Happiness is a moment by moment decision’, so if that is true, what do YOU need to do to be happier? Can you change your thinking to be happier or should you keep buying those lottery tickets? This will be a series of posts in which we will examine some common ideas about happiness. Read more

Should Divorcing Couples Try To Negotiate On Their Own?

In between collaborative divorce or mediation sessions, should you and your spouse try to come to agreement on issues at the dining room table? Read more

After Divorce Complications…

Have a look at my newest article published by the Huffington Post Divorce Blog. Co-written with Paula Noe,ESQ., this article addresses the unexpected issues such as grand-kids or friends-from-before that crop up years, even decades after divorce… Read more

Divorced? Press ‘Enter’ To Begin Dating

Please read my new article for the Huffington Post Divorce Blog, co-written with collaborative attorney, Paula H. Noe  Read more

A Better Divorce For A Happier Life

Only one divorce process can teach clients new skills that they can use to live a better and happier life after the divorce. These days there are a number of divorce processes to choose from when seeking a Massachusetts divorce but only one of these can offer clients a chance to learn new communication, decision making, and relationship skills.

Collaborative divorce

    provides clients with opportunities to improve relationships. They can learn how to fight less and talk more, make better decisions, think about and work toward realistic personal and family goals, and explore what is most important for living more successfully right now and in the future.

The collaborative process

    encourages clients to grow and develop themselves and work productively through the divorce process with an eye toward living a better life.

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